, ,

Well it’s less than an hour til school pick up and the beginning of the Easter holidays…. This for me means, four kids everyday for at least two weeks bored as shit around the house. I say this because I am at the moment, a single parent, with two older Sons and two younger Autistic Sons, it’s a little hard to do something with them all that is age appropriate. Not to mention the cost of all the potential possibility of things to do.  Tonight I don’t “celebrate” as one said to me when I crack open my bottle of vodka, the beginnings of the school holidays, but rather as a mind numb for me on this monotonous Friday afternoon, wishing I had someone to share it with me, making the  meltdowns which without a doubt will occur through the night, that much more bareable. Although I am blessed to have these four beautiful boys around me, I am loney. I want so much to enjoy an adult night out once in a while, to have parents that aren’t assholes and would take my, their grand kids for a night for the shear joy of it. Instead I sit here, watching the world go by, feeling an overwhelming sadness, loneliness and emptiness all in one.